Author: Magnus

I Don’t Want Hope. Hope Is Killing Me

I Don’t Want Hope. Hope Is Killing Me

Curled From Seinfield: Season 3, Episode 17 — The Fix Up. Jerry: Oh so there’s still hope? George: I don’t want hope, hope is killing me. My dream is to become hopeless. When you’re hopeless you don’t care, and when you don’t care, that indifference, it makes you attractive Jerry: So, hopelessness is the key? George: …

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My Fear Of Balloons, Girls, Girls Again, Dating And The Extinction Of Watermelons

My Fear Of Balloons, Girls, Girls Again, Dating And The Extinction Of Watermelons

Dating: I’m a self-confessed surefooted talkative and anyone who has ever had a conversation with me could spot that but there’s a problem — I just keep talking and talking even when i’m the opposite sex. If i’m gonna go on an actual date with a girl, i’d advise she come with a pillow (in …

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5 Million!: The Scam I Fell For

5 Million!: The Scam I Fell For

Image by: http://74211.com/ I was scammed in 2010. Then, i was still taking my computer lectures (yup) didn’t know much about tech. This is how it happened: I got a text from MTN that went like: “Dear customer, you have won 5 Million Naira on the ongoing MTN blah blah blah…” I was so excited i …

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10 Life Lessons Every Nigerian Student Should Learn Before Graduating From School

10 Life Lessons Every Nigerian Student Should Learn Before Graduating From School

Writers & Contributors: Ifediri, | Nairalander -Giftedgreen, who’s the OP As a student you probably would not believe us if we tell you that you are absolutely naive and no, you are not on top of the world. You will soon graduate from the university, service year is going to be awesome (at least according to …

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5 Things You Should Do Before 25

5 Things You Should Do Before 25

Let meeeee Seeeeee……. Cook a new dish? – Nope, you’ll probably hospitalize someone special. Fall in love?—Nope, you’ll probably get heart broken or get her pregnant (Dad?). Do something crazy, like a Bungee jumping or holding a closed circuit – Cool huhn? You’ll probably die or get a broken neck. How aboutttt… Commit a crime …

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5 Things You Should Never Say To A Girl

5 Things You Should Never Say To A Girl

I once got so confident about myself (I think it was due to my frequent weightlifting routine) that I looked a girl in the face, held her gaze and asked, “Do you love me?,” in a conversational tone. After looking at me in a monstrously traumatized “whatdahell” manner, she laughed.Even as a good story teller, …

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5 Ways To Restrain An Unwanted Erection

5 Ways To Restrain An Unwanted Erection

Welcome back pardner. In case you missed it, this post is in two parts (for clarity) and this is the second part of it. You could read the first here Erections: Dethroning The King I had to make this particular topic practically reasonable as well as interesting. I strongly believe the following practical methods will really …

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Erections: Dethroning The King

Erections: Dethroning The King

Sometime back in high school, I used to lean on the windows on break periods. Why I was doing that, no one knew. On certain occasions, I would stand there looking through the window; watching my feelings watch me. Everyone must have thought it’s conventional; anyone could stand beside the window when he doesn’t want …

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