My Fear Of Balloons, Girls, Girls Again, Dating And The Extinction Of Watermelons

Dating: I’m a self-confessed surefooted talkative and anyone who has ever had a conversation with me could spot that but there’s a problem — I just keep talking and talking even when i’m the opposite sex. If i’m gonna go on an actual date with a girl, i’d advise she come with a pillow (in case she finds me boring) and some popcorn, if she finds me awesome… clowny. I hope i don’t go out with the wrong person – the one who knows how to use her hands better than i use my mouth.

Girls Again: The day a girl comes around and calls me her baby’s father in front of my parents, while i’m in my 20…especially when the world knows we’re close and i know i didn’t go there…. there. No! there… (fill in the gaps with the right words). Apart from that, i’m not the only one who’s scared of marriage…I’m almost 20 (i guess). If i turn 30, i’d still be scared to get married and do everything (including the annoying and disgusting things) with one woman! One woman! What? I’m not the only one who sees it like that.

Globophobia: That pop of a balloon; that “pop” sound. I don’t really fear balloons and they don’t really pop (to me). It bursts and i freak out when that happens.If you catch me holding my ears or wearing a spider suit over my face in your kid’s birthday party, i’m not trying to scare him. I’m scared. The world is a strange place and i’m weird, if you do it to me intentionally, i’d yell your head off! The pop of a balloon = a gunshot.

The Extinction OF Watermelons: My mentor calls it one of Nature’s big scam (because it never satisfied him and it’s 70% water) but that never bothered me. If for nothing else in the world i’d say watermelon contains almost all the vitamins and nutrients a man… i need -Vitamin C16%, pantothenic acid7%, copper7%, vitamin A5%, potassium5%, biotin5%, magnesium4%, vitamin B64%, vitamin B14% and all other nutrients made up by those who love it. Once i found this article on Organic Consumers that basically talked about The Extinction of Fruits Vegetables in 80 Years and it took my breathe away (i thought watermelons were involved) but luckily, there was no mention of “melons.” I just hope they don’t turn dinosaurs, besides, i don’t like pineapples much. They don’t look as much as they taste.

There you have it. All my fears – The death of Watermelons, The fear of girls, The fear of balloons