The Toilet Thieves

The Toilet Thieves

A little while after our generator went off, I had to visit the toilet before settling on my cold food, it had been a long day with a laptop on my laps. I walked out to the separate and only toilet in the compound in the dark night, stretched my body with a long yawn before entering the toilet to shit. The toilet had a mahogany door without a key or any source of light at night.
Halfway into the privy operation, my neighbor’s dog started barking; it was very strange at that hour. I snubbed the idea of a robbery; the house was fenced after all, unlike mine.
A few minutes later (didn’t check time) i was unrolling a dollar toilet paper when two men ran into the toilet, panting. I was shocked.
At first, I wanted to question who it was, but they weren’t alone. I could hear a metallic scratch on the wall as they both dashed in. I froze on my dirty throne (toilet) like it was some horror scene from the 80’s.
After a brief silence and some heavy breaths, they began to chuckle in a very disturbing way, I had an evil sensation within, gulped the saliva in my mouth from the smell of the stinking toilet, lots of it.
“So, what are we going to do now?” a male voice asked.
“Relax, let me get my lighter” the other replied
I felt my balls run into my stomach, and started pleading inwardly with my obscure fate, faithlessly. “Ah! Why now? A lighter, c’mon!“ i thought.
“shut up and keep it down”, the first man threatened his partner. “How can you be smoking in a situation like this?”
The second giggled, “It’s sweeter in a situation like this”.
“I swear!  If you light that crap here now, I’ll f@#king decapitate you, dafuck is wrong with you?” the first man was starting to get pissed.
The unused tissue paper I used as a covering for my nose was my saving grace! The smell of the toilet seemed to be getting worse and intense (don’t blame my stinking shit).
I was praying crying silently, swearing for the landlord who built the toilet!
Meanwhile, they had stopped arguing and were making arrangements to move “the package” to base. I wondered how they never mentioned each other’s name, called the stolen money (I guess) “package”, wherever they stay was called a base and surprisingly, they were sounding like we were in a kitchen-we were in a toilet for goodness sake!
“Relax man, we are almost there, let’s just leave here” the second man said.
“What are you saying; do you even know what you’re saying? If we get caught tonight, your mouth will go blunt like an 80 leaves notebook, are you going to blame it on a f@#cking dog huhn?” the first man asked before opening the door. He later commanded his ridiculous partner to survey the area before they move. His partner did and came back; the both of them were walking hastily down the road shortly.

Another Interesting story  Why I Stopped Writing

I stood up with my legs still shaking, used the tissue paper like an aged man, then, my phone rang.

Share this story
Don't miss out!

Receive new stories in your email.

Invalid email address
Give it a try. You can unsubscribe at any time.